Let’s be honest, y’all. We’ve all seen it: those perfectly polished women in Bible study, sipping on their pumpkin spice lattes, matching handbags with their spotless homes, talking about how they “struggle.” Yet somehow, their struggles are wrapped up in a neat little bow, tied with Instagram-worthy snapshots of their “imperfect” lives. If you’re like me, you’ve probably thought: Where’s the mess? The tears? The realness?

But here’s the truth: real Christian struggles don’t always smell like cinnamon or come with a cute quote on a throw pillow. Sometimes, they look more like exhaustion from trying to keep it all together, doubt when the prayers go unanswered, or even anger when life just isn’t fair.

I want to talk about that today—about being real, about embracing the raw and the imperfect parts of our walk with God. Because faith isn’t always pretty, but it’s always real.

The Problem with “Perfection”

There’s this unspoken pressure, especially in some Christian circles, to appear like we’ve got it all together. We want to show we’re “blessed and highly favored,” but in doing so, we hide the struggles that could actually connect us with others. Think about it—how many times have you sat in a women’s group, hearing someone share their “struggles,” only to feel like you couldn’t relate? It’s not that their problems aren’t real; it’s that they feel sanitized, with the messy parts left out.

When we project an image of perfection, we’re not just hiding our pain—we’re making it harder for other women to share theirs. Because if everyone else looks perfect, what does that say about our real struggles?

What Real Faith Looks Like

Look at Queen Esther. She wasn’t living some picture-perfect life when she risked everything to save her people. She was terrified, y’all. She didn’t know if approaching the king would cost her life, but she did it anyway​. Her courage didn’t come from living a Pinterest-perfect life—it came from raw faith and trusting God through the fear.

Or think about Jesus. Even He wept and felt overwhelmed in the garden of Gethsemane before facing the cross. If the Son of God didn’t hide His anguish, why should we feel the need to?

Why We Need Realness

Here’s the thing: people don’t connect with perfection. They connect with vulnerability. They connect with stories that say, “I’m struggling too, but God is still good.” When we keep it real about our faith journeys, we give others permission to do the same. We open the door for deeper relationships, for communities that support rather than compare.

That’s why, at Faithful Femme Noir, we’re all about real talk. We know that faith isn’t about having it all together. It’s about holding on to God when everything is falling apart. It’s about showing up in our mess, knowing that God can handle it—and so can our sisters in Christ.

How to Keep It Real in Your Faith

  1. Share the Whole Story: When you talk about your struggles, don’t skip over the hard parts. Share the moments of doubt, fear, or even anger. God is glorified not just in our victories, but in how He walks with us through the valleys.
  2. Find Your People: Seek out women who are open about their own faith journeys. Whether through online communities or local Bible study groups, find those who welcome realness, not perfection.
  3. Be Vulnerable First: Sometimes, it takes someone else’s honesty to open the floodgates. Be that person. Share your authentic story, and watch how others feel free to do the same.
  4. Trust That God is in the Mess: You don’t have to clean up your life before you come to God—or His people. God does some of His best work in the messiest parts of our lives. Trust Him in the process.

Let’s Change the Narrative

At Faithful Femme Noir, we’re committed to creating spaces where you can take off the mask. No perfect personas, just real women walking with a real God through real-life struggles​. We believe in the beauty of authenticity, and we want you to feel seen, heard, and valued—right where you are.

Because here’s the truth: God loves the real you, the one who doesn’t always have it together, the one who sometimes doubts, the one who struggles with the day-to-day. And we love you too.

So, sis, let’s stop pretending. Let’s embrace the raw, the real, and the beautiful mess that is faith. And let’s do it together.

Join the Conversation: Have you ever felt like you couldn’t relate to the “perfect” Christian image? How do you keep it real in your walk with God? Share your thoughts in the comments or connect with us on social media. We’d love to hear from you!