Let’s be honest, y’all. We’ve all seen it: those perfectly polished women in Bible study, sipping on their pumpkin spice lattes, matching handbags with their spotless homes, talking about how they “struggle.” Yet somehow, their struggles are wrapped up in a neat little bow, tied with Instagram-worthy snapshots of their “imperfect” lives. If you’re like me, you’ve probably thought: Where’s the mess? The tears? The realness?

But here’s the truth: real Christian struggles don’t always smell like cinnamon or come with a cute quote on a throw pillow. Sometimes, they look more like exhaustion from trying to keep it all together, doubt when the prayers go unanswered, or even anger when life just isn’t fair.

I want to talk about that today—about being real, about embracing the raw and the imperfect parts of our walk with God. Because faith isn’t always pretty, but it’s always real.

The Problem with “Perfection”

There’s this unspoken pressure, especially in some Christian circles, to appear like we’ve got it all together. We want to show we’re “blessed and highly favored,” but in doing so, we hide the struggles that could actually connect us with others. Think about it—how many times have you sat in a women’s group, hearing someone share their “struggles,” only to feel like you couldn’t relate? It’s not that their problems aren’t real; it’s that they feel sanitized, with the messy parts left out.

When we project an image of perfection, we’re not just hiding our pain—we’re making it harder for other women to share theirs. Because if everyone else looks perfect, what does that say about our real struggles?

What Real Faith Looks Like

Look at Queen Esther. She wasn’t living some picture-perfect life when she risked everything to save her people. She was terrified, y’all. She didn’t know if approaching the king would cost her life, but she did it anyway​. Her courage didn’t come from living a Pinterest-perfect life—it came from raw faith and trusting God through the fear.

Or think about Jesus. Even He wept and felt overwhelmed in the garden of Gethsemane before facing the cross. If the Son of God didn’t hide His anguish, why should we feel the need to?

Why We Need Realness

Here’s the thing: people don’t connect with perfection. They connect with vulnerability. They connect with stories that say, “I’m struggling too, but God is still good.” When we keep it real about our faith journeys, we give others permission to do the same. We open the door for deeper relationships, for communities that support rather than compare.

That’s why, at Faithful Femme Noir, we’re all about real talk. We know that faith isn’t about having it all together. It’s about holding on to God when everything is falling apart. It’s about showing up in our mess, knowing that God can handle it—and so can our sisters in Christ.

How to Keep It Real in Your Faith

1. Share the Whole Story: When you talk about your struggles, don’t skip over the hard parts. Share the moments of doubt, fear, or even anger. God is glorified not just in our victories, but in how He walks with us through the valleys.
2. Find Your People: Seek out women who are open about their own faith journeys. Whether through online communities or local Bible study groups, find those who welcome realness, not perfection.
3. Be Vulnerable First: Sometimes, it takes someone else’s honesty to open the floodgates. Be that person. Share your authentic story, and watch how others feel free to do the same.
4. Trust That God is in the Mess: You don’t have to clean up your life before you come to God—or His people. God does some of His best work in the messiest parts of our lives. Trust Him in the process.

Let’s Change the Narrative

At Faithful Femme Noir, we’re committed to creating spaces where you can take off the mask. No perfect personas, just real women walking with a real God through real-life struggles​. We believe in the beauty of authenticity, and we want you to feel seen, heard, and valued—right where you are.

Because here’s the truth: God loves the real you, the one who doesn’t always have it together, the one who sometimes doubts, the one who struggles with the day-to-day. And we love you too.

So, sis, let’s stop pretending. Let’s embrace the raw, the real, and the beautiful mess that is faith. And let’s do it together.

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Join the Conversation: Have you ever felt like you couldn’t relate to the “perfect” Christian image? How do you keep it real in your walk with God? Share your thoughts in the comments or connect with us on social media. We’d love to hear from you!

In our fast-paced, often overwhelming world, it’s easy to feel drained—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Life’s pressures weigh heavy on our hearts, from work demands to family responsibilities, and it can seem like we are always running on empty. But there is a deep well of strength available to us, a source of life and love that never runs dry. Jesus calls us to be rooted in Him, to draw our strength not from our own abilities but from His endless love.

Jesus says in John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” This vivid imagery of the vine and branches speaks to the deep connection that Christ desires with each of us. Just as branches are completely dependent on the vine for life and nourishment, we are utterly reliant on Christ for spiritual sustenance, strength, and growth.

But what does it truly mean to be rooted in Christ? How do we deepen our connection to Him and draw from His strength daily, especially when life feels overwhelming?

Abiding in Christ: More Than Just Knowing Him

To be rooted in Christ is to live in a constant state of reliance on Him. This goes beyond simply knowing about Jesus or believing in Him—it’s about actively abiding in Him. The word abide means to remain, to dwell, or to continue. It speaks of a steady, ongoing relationship, not one that is sporadic or based on convenience.

Abiding in Christ means that our entire life is intertwined with His. We seek Him first in all things (Matthew 6:33), trusting Him for the strength and wisdom we need to navigate life’s challenges. Just as a branch cannot survive apart from the vine, we cannot flourish spiritually if we are disconnected from Christ.

How to Be Rooted in Christ: Practical Steps

1. Deepen Your Prayer Life

One of the primary ways to remain rooted in Christ is through prayer. Prayer is not just a way to bring our requests to God; it’s an invitation to commune with Him, to listen to His voice, and to align our hearts with His. Jesus often withdrew to quiet places to pray, and if even the Son of God needed regular communion with the Father, how much more do we?

Instead of seeing prayer as a last resort or something to fit into the cracks of your day, make it a priority. Set aside intentional time each day to be with God, pouring out your heart to Him and listening for His voice. As you cultivate a deeper prayer life, you will find that your connection to Christ grows stronger, and your spirit will be refreshed by His presence.

Practical Tip: Create a prayer routine that works for you. It could be early in the morning before the day begins, during your lunch break, or before bed. Use a journal to write down your prayers and record how God is answering them. This practice helps you stay rooted in gratitude and trust in His faithfulness.

2. Meditate on God’s Word

Just as physical nourishment is essential for our bodies, spiritual nourishment is critical for our souls. Jesus said in Matthew 4:4, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” God’s Word is our spiritual food. It strengthens, sustains, and guides us.

Being rooted in Christ means that we regularly meditate on His Word, allowing it to shape our thoughts, decisions, and actions. Reading Scripture is not just about gaining knowledge; it’s about letting God’s truth penetrate your heart and transform your life. When we meditate on Scripture, we stay connected to the vine, and our lives begin to bear fruit that reflects Christ’s character.

Practical Tip: Choose a Bible reading plan or a specific book of the Bible to study each day. Take time to reflect on how the passage speaks to your current season of life. Use a journal to jot down insights and prayers related to what you’re reading. Scripture memorization is also a powerful way to stay rooted in God’s Word—commit to memorizing a verse each week that speaks to you.

3. Trust in His Love and Promises

When we abide in Christ, we are grounded in His love, and this love becomes the foundation for how we live, think, and act. Ephesians 3:17-19 beautifully captures this truth, praying that we may be “rooted and grounded in love, that [we] may have strength to comprehend…what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.”

Christ’s love is immeasurable and unshakeable. When we are rooted in His love, we are secure, no matter what life throws at us. Fear loses its power, anxiety fades, and we experience the peace that comes from knowing we are held by the One who loves us beyond measure.

Trusting in Christ’s love also means trusting in His promises. Life may not always go as planned, but we can rest in the assurance that God is faithful to His Word. His promises are true, and His love never fails.

Practical Tip: Spend time reflecting on God’s promises in Scripture. Verses like Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, and Philippians 4:19 remind us that God is working for our good, that He has a plan for us, and that He will supply all our needs. Write down promises that speak to you and post them somewhere you can see daily, like your mirror or fridge.

Rooted in Christ Through Obedience

Abiding in Christ also involves walking in obedience to His Word. Jesus said in John 15:10, “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in His love.”

Obedience is the fruit of a life that is deeply connected to Christ. When we walk in obedience to His commands, we not only reflect our love for Him but also experience the fullness of His joy. Jesus promises that as we abide in Him and walk in obedience, His joy will be in us, and our joy will be complete (John 15:11).

However, obedience can be challenging, especially when it requires sacrifice or going against the grain of the world’s values. But when we are rooted in Christ, our obedience is not burdensome but a natural outflow of our love for Him. We trust that His commands are for our good and His glory.

Practical Tip: Each week, ask yourself how you can live out God’s Word in your daily life. Whether it’s forgiving someone, showing kindness to a stranger, or resisting temptation, make it a priority to walk in obedience, trusting that God will strengthen you in the process.

Living a Fruitful Life Through Christ

Jesus promises that those who remain rooted in Him will bear much fruit. What kind of fruit? Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. As we stay connected to Christ, these fruits begin to flourish in our lives.

A fruitful life is not about worldly success or accomplishments; it’s about reflecting the character of Christ in everything we do. It’s about loving others, showing grace, being patient in trials, and trusting God’s timing. A fruitful life blesses those around us and points them to the source of all goodness—Jesus Christ.

Practical Tip: At the end of each week, reflect on the fruits of the Spirit in your life. Ask God to reveal areas where you need more growth, and pray for the Holy Spirit to continue cultivating these fruits in your heart.

Being rooted in Christ is a lifelong journey. It’s about daily dependence on Him, drawing strength from His love, and allowing His Word to guide your steps. As you deepen your connection with Christ, you will find that your life becomes a reflection of His grace and truth, bearing fruit that glorifies Him.

Ask yourself: How can I be more intentional about staying connected to Christ this week? Where am I relying on my own strength instead of His?

Challenge for the Week: Spend extra time in prayer and Scripture this week, asking God to deepen your roots in Christ. Reflect on how abiding in Him has transformed your life, and consider ways you can remain more connected to the source of all strength and love.

We live in an age of rapid change, where the cultural tides ebb and flow unpredictably. What is celebrated today may be condemned tomorrow, and the lines between truth and opinion often blur. For many, this constant shifting creates confusion and insecurity. But as Christian women, we are called to stand firm, not swayed by the world’s ever-changing values, but grounded in the unchanging truth of God’s Word.

Why Grounding Matters in a Changing Culture

The Bible describes believers as trees planted by streams of water, whose roots go deep (Psalm 1:3). When we are grounded in God’s truth, we aren’t easily shaken by the storms of life. Ephesians 3:17-19 speaks of being “rooted and grounded in love,” so that we can grasp the enormity of God’s truth and stand firm in it. But what does it look like to be grounded in truth? And why is it more important than ever in our present-day culture?

Being grounded in truth means our foundation is unshakable, built on the solid rock of God’s Word (Matthew 7:24-27). Jesus speaks of the wise man who builds his house on the rock, and when the storms come, his house remains standing. By contrast, those who build on sand—on the ever-changing opinions of culture—will see their foundation crumble.

How Culture Tries to Shift Our Foundation

Modern culture pressures us to conform. The world shouts at us to embrace its ever-changing standards, often enticing us to compromise our beliefs in subtle ways. It might come in the form of:

1. Relativism: The belief that truth is subjective—what’s true for you may not be true for me. But the Bible teaches that God’s Word is objective truth, eternal and unchanging (Isaiah 40:8). In a world that questions the very concept of absolute truth, we must cling to the clarity Scripture provides.
2. Moral Compromise: The world often presents ideas like self-love or personal freedom as the highest virtues, but sometimes at the expense of biblical morality. What culture applauds today, Scripture may condemn. This conflict can create pressure to blend in rather than stand out.
3. Redefinition of Identity: In a culture obsessed with self-expression and self-identification, the truth of our identity in Christ can get lost. We’re constantly told to define ourselves by our careers, our relationships, or our desires. But the Bible reminds us that we are defined by who God says we are—His daughters, chosen and loved (1 Peter 2:9). Our identity is secure in Him

As Christian women, we are called to stand apart, not in a spirit of judgment or isolation, but in unwavering commitment to God’s truth. But how do we remain grounded when the pull to conform is so strong?

Steps to Stay Grounded in Truth

1. Know What You Believe

One of the biggest reasons many Christians struggle in the face of cultural pressure is because they don’t have a deep understanding of what they believe. It’s easy to be swayed when your foundation is shallow. To be grounded in truth, you need to be intimately familiar with Scripture.

Dedicate time each day to studying God’s Word, not just reading a few verses, but digging deep into its meaning. Consider topics like the nature of God, the person of Christ, and the role of the Holy Spirit. This will equip you to stand firm in your faith when the world challenges what you know to be true.

Practical Tip: Set aside 20 minutes each day to study key passages that reinforce your understanding of core Christian doctrines. Start with passages like John 1:1-14 (Christ’s divinity), Ephesians 2:1-10 (grace and salvation), and Romans 8 (life in the Spirit).

2. Seek God’s Wisdom Daily

James 1:5 gives us a promise: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him.” The wisdom of the world is fleeting and often contradictory, but God’s wisdom is perfect and unchanging.

In times of uncertainty, seek God’s guidance rather than relying on your own understanding or the opinions of those around you. Grounded women seek the wisdom that comes from above, not the temporary trends of society.

Practical Tip: When facing a difficult decision or cultural pressure, pause and ask God for wisdom. Pray for discernment to see the situation through the lens of Scripture, and trust that God will guide you in truth.

3. Surround Yourself with Godly Community

Standing firm in a shifting culture is not something we are called to do alone. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us that two are better than one…for if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. Being grounded in truth becomes more sustainable when we have godly friends and mentors around us to encourage and support us.

Find a community of believers who share your commitment to biblical truth. Whether through a local church, a Bible study group, or a few close friends, surround yourself with people who will spur you on in faith and hold you accountable when the world tempts you to compromise.

Practical Tip: Identify two or three godly women in your life with whom you can regularly meet for prayer, Bible study, and accountability. Make it a priority to cultivate relationships that strengthen your walk with God.

4. Live Out the Truth You Know

Finally, being grounded in truth means more than just knowing the right things—it means living them out. James 1:22 reminds us to be doers of the word, and not hearers only. As you study and internalize the truth of Scripture, make it a habit to put that truth into action.

When the culture says to conform, live boldly for Christ. When the world questions your faith, respond with grace and confidence, knowing that you are standing on the solid rock of God’s truth. As you live out your faith, you become a testimony to others of the unshakable foundation found in Christ.

Practical Tip: Each week, choose one biblical truth you’ve studied and make a plan to actively live it out. Whether it’s showing love to a difficult person, speaking truth in a challenging situation, or serving others, let your life reflect the truth you are grounded in.

As you navigate a culture that often pulls you in different directions, remember that God’s truth is your anchor. The world may change, but His Word remains the same. Stand firm, deeply rooted in the eternal truth of Scripture, and let it shape every area of your life.

Ask yourself: Where in my life have I allowed cultural pressures to shift my focus away from God’s truth? How can I realign myself with Scripture this week?

Challenge for the Week: Spend time in prayer, asking God to reveal areas where your foundation has become shaky. Write down what He shows you and take action to realign those areas with His Word.

Key Verse: Colossians 2:7 – “Rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.” (ESV)

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Introduction

As we move into October, it’s a wonderful time to reflect on what it means to be deeply rooted in Christ. Just as trees seek deeper nourishment when the seasons change, we, too, are called to deepen our spiritual roots in the Word of God. When we allow our roots to grow deep into Christ, we build a foundation that sustains us through both the joys and challenges of life.

This week, let’s focus on what it truly means to be rooted in His Word. Practically, this means immersing ourselves in scripture daily, memorizing it, and allowing its truths to shape our lives. Like a tree that cannot thrive without a source of life, we cannot flourish unless we are anchored in the Word of God.

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Why Being Rooted in the Word Matters

Colossians 2:7 encourages us to grow our roots deep in Christ and build our lives on Him. Being rooted in His Word is not just an inspirational idea—it’s essential for spiritual growth and resilience. God’s Word equips us to endure the trials and storms of life. It gives us clarity when we are confused, strength when we are weary, and direction when we feel lost.

But how do we practically start this journey of deepening our roots in the Word?

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1. Make Time for Daily Bible Reading

In today’s fast-paced world, it can be hard to find time for Bible reading. Between work, family, and personal commitments, life can feel overwhelming. However, just as our bodies need food to survive, our souls need spiritual nourishment, and that nourishment comes from God’s Word (Matthew 4:4).

Practical Tip: Start small. Set aside 10-15 minutes each day for Bible reading. You can make this part of your morning routine with a cup of coffee or during quiet moments before bed. Even listening to scripture while driving or doing household chores through a Bible app can be beneficial (Psalm 1:2).

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2. Meditate on and Memorize Scripture

Life is full of challenges, and in those difficult moments, we need God’s promises to hold on to. Memorizing scripture is a powerful tool for recalling His truth at any moment. When His Word is hidden in our hearts, it gives us peace, strength, and hope (Psalm 119:11).

Practical Tip: This week, choose one verse to meditate on and memorize. Write it down and place it somewhere you’ll see it regularly—on your bathroom mirror, your car’s dashboard, or your work desk. Try memorizing Colossians 2:7, and as you do, reflect on what it means to be rooted and built up in Christ.

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3. Study the Word, Don’t Just Read It

There’s a significant difference between merely reading the Bible and deeply studying it. To truly grow roots in His Word, we need to dig deeper and seek to understand the context and meaning behind the text. Studying God’s Word involves reflection and application—it transforms our hearts and minds (2 Timothy 2:15).

Practical Tip: Consider using a Bible study guide or devotional that breaks down passages for you. You could also join a Bible study group where you can learn from others. Start small by asking, “What does this passage teach me about God’s character, and how can I live it out today?”

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Conclusion: Overflowing with Thankfulness

Colossians 2:7 promises that when we are deeply rooted in Christ, our faith will grow strong, and our lives will overflow with thankfulness. A life anchored in scripture is one that is unshakable in times of trial, abounding in joy and gratitude.

This week, remember that being rooted in His Word is not about perfection—it’s about consistency. Every verse you read, every prayer you utter, and every moment spent meditating on scripture draws you closer to God. And as you grow in Him, your life will naturally overflow with thankfulness, joy, and peace.

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Challenge for the Week: Scripture Memorization

This week, I challenge you to take part in a Scripture Memorization Challenge! Let’s commit to memorizing Colossians 2:7 together as a community. Share your progress and insights with others, and encourage someone in your circle to join you as we stay rooted in the Word this season.

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Reflection Question:

What are some practical ways you can prioritize God’s Word in your daily routine this week?

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Call to Action:

Share in the comments how you plan to stay rooted in the Word this week. And don’t forget to tag a friend who could use a little extra encouragement in their spiritual journey!

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Free Resource:

To help you dive deeper into God’s Word, I’m excited to offer a free downloadable resource that will guide you in your journey to becoming more rooted in Scripture. You can download it here. This resource provides Bible study prompts, reflection questions, and practical tips to help you grow strong in your faith.

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As you seek to be deeply rooted in Christ, I encourage you to attend your local church for deeper fellowship and seek the guidance of a pastor and godly friends who can support you. If you have any other questions about how to grow in your walk with the Lord, feel free to ask!

Childhood trauma leaves profound impacts, often hidden for Black women. While we are resilient, intelligent, and driven, many of us carry silent burdens that influence our lives in unseen ways. Could it be that one reason so many accomplished women make unwise relationship choices is that nearly 60% experienced sexual abuse prior to turning 18?

I am one of those women.

My abuse began when I was just five, at the hands of one of my father’s cousins, and continued until I was around ten, when another cousin took his place. For years, I lived in fear and confusion, unable to articulate the weight of the trauma I bore.

At twelve, I convinced my mother that I was responsible enough to care for myself and my brother. This ended the abuse, yet the scars remained. The trauma sowed seeds of insecurity, doubt, and a distorted understanding of love. Those early wounds shaped my self-perception and interactions with the world, particularly with men.

I hold my abusers accountable for their actions, and I also blame my father for his absence when I needed protection the most. However, through my faith, I’ve come to realize that God ensures justice, as stated in His word. One of my abusers is no longer alive, and the other is no longer in his right mind. While this doesn’t erase the pain, it serves as a reminder that justice does manifest in some form.

For years, I viewed love as transactional and conditional. I believed that love required enduring whatever came with it, no matter how painful, because deep down, I felt undeserving of anything better. I struggled to demand respect, establish boundaries, or recognize genuine love when it appeared. How could I, when my foundational understanding of love was so tainted?

Reflecting now, I see how that abuse skewed my perception of love, and I know I’m not alone. Many beautiful, intelligent Black women find themselves in toxic relationships because the trauma we experienced as children left us vulnerable to confusing dysfunction for love.

The statistics are alarming, but the narratives behind those numbers are what truly matter. Sexual abuse is more than a singular event; it shatters innocence, trust, and self-worth. For many Black women, this experience casts a silent shadow into adulthood, influencing our partner choices, tolerances, and beliefs about what we deserve.

Growing up in the wake of abuse can distort one’s sense of normalcy. Toxic behaviors may feel familiar or even comfortable, as they echo the emotional chaos we faced as children. We gravitate toward what we know, even if it is unhealthy.

This isn’t about intelligence or strength—it’s about healing. And the truth is, healing requires time, grace, and significant unlearning.

For a long time, I didn’t understand how to heal. I quietly carried my pain, thinking it was a part of life, something I had to accept. Then, God intervened. Through His Word, I began to see myself not as damaged or broken, but as His masterpiece.

Psalm 139:14 became my guiding light: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” This verse reminded me that, despite my past, I remained whole in God’s eyes. I was not defined by my trauma but by my Creator.

Healing was not instantaneous, and it remains a journey. However, with each step, I’ve learned to reclaim my worth, establish boundaries, and understand that genuine love is unconditional and does not inflict pain.

Through faith, therapy, and community, I found the strength to break free from cycles of poor relationship choices. I’ve discovered that healing is achievable, but it necessitates both grace and proactive steps.

So, how can we break the cycle? How do we, as Black women, heal from the wounds that have shaped our lives for so long?

1. Acknowledge the Pain: The first step in healing is recognizing that we have been hurt. We cannot heal what we do not confront. It’s important to admit that abuse has impacted us and continues to affect our choices today.
3. Lean on Your Faith: Nothing is beyond God’s ability to heal. His love is unconditional, and through Him, we can discover our identity and worth. Immerse yourself in Scripture and let His truth remind you of who you are in Him.
5. Seek Help: Healing is not a solitary journey. Therapy, faith-based counseling, or support groups can provide a safe environment to process trauma and embark on recovery. Surround yourself with a community that fosters your growth and healing.
7. Redefine Love: Healthy love does not hurt. It is not manipulative or controlling. As we heal, we learn to identify love that aligns with God’s definition—love that is patient, kind, and founded on mutual respect (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

If you have traveled a similar path, know that you are not alone. Healing is possible, and your story can inspire others. Let’s break the silence surrounding these issues. Share your experiences, engage with your sisters, and initiate conversations within your circles. Healing begins with community, openness, and faith.

Together, we can cultivate spaces that celebrate healing and affirm our worth.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

Resources for Surviviors of Child Sexual Abuse: Click HERE.

How can we better support Black girls who’ve gone through this?

What steps can we take to break this cycle and create healthier futures for ourselves and our daughters?

This journey is not easy, but it is worthwhile. We are not defined by the trauma we have endured but by the God who created us. He is crafting a new narrative—one of redemption, healing, and love. I pray that you, my sisters, find the strength to embark on your healing journey and the courage to demand the love you deserve. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that truth remains unchangeable.