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Holiness Ain’t Optional!

February 20, 2025 / Erica / 0 Comments

A Call to Live Set Apart

Holiness ain’t optional.

But you wouldn’t know that by looking around.

Seems like we’ve traded set-apart for fitting in, exchanged righteousness for relevance. We don’t wanna be peculiar—we wanna be palatable. But last I checked, Jesus wasn’t out here trying to make everybody comfortable. Nah. He came flipping tables, calling out hypocrisy, loving the unlovable, and demanding that we follow Him fully.

Not halfway. Not with conditions. Not when it’s convenient.

All the way.

A Call to Come Higher

See, God ain’t just calling you to church attendance. He ain’t just asking for your Sunday morning or your worship playlist. He wants your heart. Your mind. Your body. Your scrolling habits. Your late-night thoughts. Your dreams. Your desires.

That means holiness is more than just what you don’t do—it’s about what you pursue.

“Be holy, for I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:16)

That’s not a suggestion. That’s a command.

But somewhere along the way, we started treating holiness like an old-school dress code—outdated, unnecessary, legalistic.

So we stopped pursuing purity and started normalizing compromise.

We excused what we watched. What we listened to. Who we entertained. We got so used to the world’s noise that the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit got drowned out in the process.

And now, we’re confused about why we don’t hear God like we used to.

The Lie of “Not That Deep”

We tell ourselves, “It’s not that deep.” But it is.

That show you love but grieves the Spirit? It’s that deep.
That conversation laced with gossip and slander? It’s that deep.
That habit that nobody knows about but keeps you from praying like you should? It’s that deep.

Holiness is not about perfection, but it is about direction.

Are you walking toward God or away from Him? Are you resisting sin or justifying it?

‘Cause make no mistake—sin don’t just sit there. It spreads. It seeps into your thoughts, your desires, your affections, your heart.

That’s why we’re told to flee from sin, not flirt with it.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” (Hebrews 12:1)

Sis, what do you need to lay aside?

What’s slowing you down, keeping you from running full speed toward the God who calls you His own?

Holiness Ain’t Just What You Say No To—It’s What You Say Yes To

Holiness is a whole-life pursuit. Not just avoiding sin, but pursuing righteousness. Not just emptying yourself of what’s wrong, but filling yourself with what’s good.

Holiness looks like:

Choosing prayer over pointless distractions.
Filling your heart with truth so lies don’t take root.
Cutting off relationships that pull you away from God.
Watching your words because they carry weight.
Loving like Jesus—even when it costs you something.

This ain’t about legalism. This is about freedom. ‘Cause contrary to what culture says, real freedom isn’t doing whatever you want—it’s being untangled from what keeps you bound.

It Starts Here. It Starts Now.

The call to holiness is not for the super spiritual. It’s for the single mama juggling work and Bible study. It’s for the wife trying to love her husband like Christ. It’s for the woman leading in the boardroom and the one serving in the background.

It’s for you.

So today, make a decision. Lay aside every weight. Choose obedience over opinion. Let go of what pulls you back.

Holiness ain’t optional.

It’s the way of the called. The set apart. The redeemed.

And sis, that’s you.

🔥 Reflection Questions:

What weights do you need to lay aside to run after God more fully?
Where have you been compromising and calling it “not that deep”?
What’s one step you can take today to pursue holiness?

Drop your thoughts in the comments, and let’s grow together. 💜

#FaithfulFemmeNoir #HolinessAintOptional

Faith & Femininity: Walking in Faith as a Modern Woman

February 17, 2025 / Erica / 0 Comments

You ever feel like being a woman of faith in today’s world is like walking through a field of landmines—in heels? It’s like one wrong step, and BOOM—somebody’s got an opinion about how you should be living, dressing, speaking, or even thinking. We live in a culture where femininity is often misunderstood and where faith is sometimes dismissed as old-fashioned. But here’s the thing: faith and femininity ain’t contradictions—they’re a divine collision.

Faith That Walks, Not Just Talks

Modern culture has convinced us that to be strong, we gotta be loud. That submission means weakness. That biblical womanhood is outdated. But when I look at the Word, I see women who were both faithful and fearless—women like Esther, who walked into a king’s throne room knowing she could die, but still said, “If I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:16). Or Mary, who carried the Savior of the world in her womb despite knowing she’d be talked about and misunderstood.

Faith isn’t just about belief—it’s about movement. It’s about saying, “Lord, I trust You enough to walk in obedience, even when it’s uncomfortable.” And let’s be real—living for Jesus in 2025 is uncomfortable. When purity is mocked, marriage is devalued, and submission is seen as a dirty word, it takes faith to live counter-culturally. But sis, you were made for this.

Femininity is Not Weakness

Somewhere along the way, the world started equating femininity with fragility. Like softness and grace are only for the weak. But have you ever seen a woman pray her children through a crisis? Have you ever watched a mother or wife hold a household together in the midst of chaos? That ain’t weak. That’s power.

Femininity, when rooted in Christ, is strength clothed in gentleness. It’s knowing that submission to God doesn’t strip us of power but positions us for purpose. It’s the Proverbs 31 woman who runs businesses, makes investments, and still comes home and creates a space of peace and love. It’s not one or the other—it’s both.

Living This Out Daily

So how do we walk this thing out in real life? How do we balance faith, femininity, and the pressures of modern womanhood?

Start with the Word, Not the World. Social media will have you thinking that being a “boss” means abandoning biblical values. But the Bible reminds us that our worth is found in Christ, not clout.
Embrace Your Design. God didn’t make a mistake when He created you as a woman. Your emotions, your intuition, your nurturing spirit—those are strengths, not weaknesses. Walk in them boldly.
Set Boundaries Without Apology. Whether it’s relationships, career, or social media, guard what influences you. You don’t have to engage in every debate, entertain every DM, or say yes to every opportunity that doesn’t align with your faith.
Find Your Tribe. A faithful woman walking alone is vulnerable. A faithful woman walking in community? Unstoppable. Get around some women who love Jesus, who will pray with you, correct you in love, and remind you of who you are when the world tries to make you forget.
Remember Who You Belong To. The world will try to define you, label you, and tell you how to be a woman. But the only identity that matters is the one God gave you. You are His daughter, His masterpiece, His beloved. Walk like it.

Faithful, Feminine, and Unapologetic

Walking in faith as a modern woman ain’t about choosing between being strong or being soft—it’s about choosing Jesus in a world that constantly pulls you away from Him. So let them call you outdated. Let them misunderstand your convictions. At the end of the day, we don’t live for the world’s approval—we live for the applause of Heaven.

And sis, that’s a standing ovation worth walking for.

5 Ways to Build a Sisterhood in Christ That You Should Try (And 1 You Shouldn’t)

February 6, 2025 / Erica / 0 Comments

Let’s be real—Christian community isn’t always easy. We talk about “sisterhood,” but sometimes it’s messy, complicated, and hard to maintain. Why? Because we’re human. And without intentionality, our friendships can stay surface-level, filled with “I’m praying for you” texts that never turn into actual prayers.

God calls us to something deeper. A real sisterhood in Christ isn’t just about brunches and Bible study aesthetics—it’s about faith, accountability, and love that looks like Jesus. So, here are five ways to build that kind of community—and one thing that will destroy it every time.

1. Pray Together—Even When It Feels Awkward (James 5:16)

Prayer isn’t just a solo activity; it’s a sisterhood builder. James 5:16 tells us, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” There’s power in getting real with each other before God.

And look—I get it. Praying out loud with friends can feel weird at first. But that discomfort fades when you realize that interceding for your sisters is an act of love. A group chat is nice, but a group that prays? That’s where transformation happens.

Try this: Next time a sister shares a struggle, don’t just say, “I’ll pray for you.” Stop right there and actually do it—on the phone, in person, or over voice memo. Watch how it deepens your bond.

2. Show Up for the Hard Stuff (Galatians 6:2)

Anybody can celebrate with you when life is good. But real sisters? They’re there when things fall apart.

Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” That means showing up when your friend’s marriage is struggling, when she’s grieving, when she’s battling anxiety or doubt. Not with clichés, but with presence.

Practical ways to carry a burden:

Be the friend who checks in. A simple “How’s your heart?” goes a long way.
Offer practical help. Cook a meal, babysit her kids, help with errands.
Sit in the silence. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just be there.

3. Love Your Sisters Enough to Keep It Real (Ephesians 4:15)

Let’s be honest: Sometimes we want friends who hype us up, not friends who call us out. But a sisterhood built on flattery isn’t love—it’s fake.

Ephesians 4:15 calls us to “speak the truth in love.” That means telling your sister when she’s walking in sin. It means saying, “Sis, I love you, but that relationship? It’s not leading you closer to God.” Or, “Hey, I notice you’re pulling away—what’s going on?”

It’s uncomfortable, but true love corrects. The goal isn’t to judge; it’s to see each other grow. And if you’re on the receiving end? Don’t get defensive—thank God for friends who care enough to sharpen you.

Real talk: If nobody in your circle ever challenges you, you might be surrounded by fans, not sisters.

4. Make the Bible Your Common Ground (Colossians 3:16)

A sisterhood built on vibes and mutual interests won’t last. But one built on God’s Word? That’s unshakable.

Colossians 3:16 says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.”

This isn’t about being “super spiritual.” It’s about making Scripture part of your conversations—sending each other verses, asking, “What’s God been teaching you?” and actually opening the Bible together.

Ways to make this happen:

Start a weekly or bi-weekly Bible study. (Even if it’s just two of you.)
Memorize Scripture together—one verse a week.
Share what God is convicting you about. Transparency fuels growth.

5. Serve Together (1 Peter 4:10)

You know what strengthens a bond? Serving side by side. 1 Peter 4:10 reminds us, “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”

God didn’t give us gifts to keep to ourselves. When we serve together—whether in church, our communities, or simply loving people around us—it deepens our unity in Christ.

Ideas for serving together:

Volunteer at a local ministry.
Support a single mom in your church.
Help a struggling family with groceries or bills.
Be intentional about meeting needs in your circle.

Friendship grows when it moves beyond us and focuses on others.

And 1 Thing You Shouldn’t Do: Build on Gossip (Proverbs 16:28)

If you want to wreck a sisterhood fast, gossip will do it. Proverbs 16:28 warns, “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.”

Gossip disguises itself as “venting” or “concern,” but it always leaves destruction. If someone is talking to you about another sister, best believe they’re talking about you somewhere else.

How to guard against gossip:

Shut it down. “Hey, have you talked to her about this?” will end most gossip sessions real quick.
Be a safe place. Your sisters should know their struggles won’t become your next conversation piece.
Pray instead of speculate. If you’re truly concerned, go to God, not the group chat.

A sisterhood built on whispers and rumors won’t stand. But one built on truth and love? That’s unbreakable.

Final Encouragement: Go First.

Want this kind of sisterhood? Be the one to start it. Initiate prayer. Show up in hard times. Speak truth. Open the Word. Serve. Cut off gossip.

It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. And if you don’t have these kinds of friendships yet? Ask God to bring them—and while you wait, be the kind of friend you’re praying for.

Do you have strong, godly women in your life? If not, what’s one step you can take today to build that sisterhood?

And as always—stay connected to your local church and godly mentors who will encourage you in your walk with Christ!

Titus, Pastors, and Doing What Jesus Said

January 30, 2025 / Erica / 0 Comments

Let’s talk about something real. Something that gets skipped over like that one auntie’s potato salad at the family cookout. Women love to talk about being pastors, but when we flip to Titus, the silence gets real loud. Now, before you throw your Bible at the screen, let’s actually sit with what the Word says.

What Does the Bible Say About Women Being Pastors?

First off, the Bible is clear about the structure of leadership in the church. In 1 Timothy 2:12, Paul says, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.” And before anybody starts talking about “that was just Paul’s opinion,” let’s not forget that Paul wasn’t just giving his two cents—he was writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit (2 Timothy 3:16).

When we look at the qualifications for pastors (or elders) in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, the requirements include being “the husband of one wife.” Last time I checked, that’s a male-exclusive requirement.

Now, does this mean women don’t have a role in ministry? Absolutely not. We just need to make sure we’re playing the role that God actually assigned to us, not the one we assigned to ourselves.

Titus Ain’t to Be Ignored

You know what’s funny? Women will skip right over Titus 2 like it’s a traffic ticket in the mail. They’ll fight for pulpits but won’t fight for the very role the Bible outlines for them.

Titus 2:3-5 says:
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

Let’s sit with that for a second.

The Bible tells women exactly what to do. Teach other women. Be examples. Train younger women to love their families well. Be self-controlled. Pure. Kind. Home-focused. But instead of embracing that, we got folks out here fighting for pulpits while ignoring the actual work that’s been assigned.

It’s like Jesus said in Luke 6:46, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?”

You want to lead a church, but won’t lead your home. You want to be a preacher, but won’t be a mentor. You want to be in the pulpit, but won’t be in your prayer closet. And the crazy part? The very thing you’re running from is the very thing God calls beautiful.

How to Actually Live Out Titus 2

Okay, so we read it. But how do we actually walk this thing out? Here’s some real-life application:

1. Be an Example

If you’re married, love your husband publicly and privately. Speak well of him. Serve him in a way that makes people say, “She’s different.”
If you’re single, live in a way that models purity, wisdom, and faithfulness. Don’t let culture dictate how you move.

2. Teach Younger Women

You don’t need a title to be a mentor. Find younger women in your church and pour into them. Show them what it means to walk with God.
If you’re a mother, be intentional about raising your daughters in the Lord.
If you’re a teacher, counselor, or just a big sister in the faith, use your influence to build up and encourage.

3. Get Your House in Order

Home is your first ministry. Make it a place of peace, love, and godliness.
Create an atmosphere where the presence of God is felt—not just on Sundays, but every day.
Teach your children the Word. Live it out in front of them.

4. Speak with Wisdom

Titus says to be “not slanderers.” That means no gossiping, no tearing down, no pettiness.
Use your words to build up. When younger women come to you, give them biblical advice, not just your opinion.

5. Embrace Your Role with Joy

Society tells us that being home-focused is oppression, but the Bible calls it wisdom.
Loving your husband and children, creating a home that reflects Christ, and mentoring the next generation isn’t less than—it’s essential.

Final Word

Listen, sis. I know culture says you need a stage, a mic, and a title to be effective in the Kingdom. But Jesus says the greatest among us is the servant (Matthew 23:11). God’s design for women isn’t small, outdated, or oppressive. It’s powerful, purposeful, and necessary.

So before we fight for what He didn’t assign, let’s master what He did. And if we truly love Jesus, let’s actually do what He says.

What are your thoughts? Drop a comment below—let’s talk about it!

What Does It Mean to Be Ashamed of Christ? 5 Signs Christians Are Hiding Their Faith

October 21, 2024 / Erica / 0 Comments

In today’s world, many Christians face challenges when it comes to openly living out their faith. The fear of being judged, ridiculed, or rejected can cause us to shrink back from standing up for Jesus. But what does it really mean to be ashamed of Christ? How can we recognize if we’re falling into that trap? More importantly, how can we overcome it?

Let’s explore what the Bible says about being ashamed of Jesus and identify some common ways Christians today might show shame without even realizing it.

What Does the Bible Say About Being Ashamed of Christ?

Jesus spoke directly about the dangers of being ashamed of Him in the Gospels. In Mark 8:38, He said, “For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” These words carry weight. Jesus makes it clear that denying Him because of fear or embarrassment is something He takes seriously.

Paul echoes this warning in Romans 1:16, where he boldly declares, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes.” The Gospel is life-changing, and we should never be afraid to proclaim it.

5 Ways Modern Christians Show They Are Ashamed of Christ

You might wonder, “Am I really ashamed of Christ?” Sometimes the signs aren’t as obvious as we think. Here are five ways Christians today might hide their faith:

Staying Silent About Your Faith Have you ever felt a nudge to share the Gospel with someone but stayed quiet because you didn’t want to make things awkward? Or maybe you avoid mentioning church or Jesus in conversations with friends or coworkers. Silence, when God gives us opportunities to speak, can be a subtle way of showing shame.
Compromising Biblical Values In a world that often rejects biblical values, some Christians try to fit in by accepting ideas that contradict Scripture. This might happen with topics like relationships, marriage, or morality. Instead of standing firm, they conform to cultural norms, showing a reluctance to fully embrace Jesus’ teachings.
Avoiding Prayer or Worship in Public Do you ever hesitate to pray before a meal when you’re out in public? Or do you skip church because you’re worried about what others might think? These small acts of withholding your faith from public view reflect a fear of being judged for following Christ.
Neglecting Evangelism Evangelism doesn’t have to mean preaching on a street corner, but sharing your faith is part of being a disciple. When we constantly put off telling others about Jesus, or when we avoid discussing Him altogether, it shows we’re afraid of how people will react.
Seeking the World’s Approval We all want to be liked, but sometimes the desire for approval leads us to compromise our faith. Whether it’s chasing popularity, success, or fitting in, if we’re willing to hide our identity in Christ for the sake of human approval, it’s a sign we’re ashamed to be fully known as His follower.

How Can Christians Overcome the Fear of Being Ashamed?

Now that we know what it looks like to be ashamed of Christ, how can we overcome it? Here are some ways to boldly stand for your faith:

Trust in the Power of the Gospel
Remember that the Gospel is the power of God for salvation. Your faith can change lives, including your own. When you understand the eternal impact of the Gospel, it becomes easier to share it confidently.
Stand Firm in Your Beliefs
The Bible calls us to be “in the world but not of the world” (John 17:16). This means we can engage with culture while still holding fast to God’s truth. When faced with pressure to compromise, pray for courage to stand strong in your faith.
Pray for Boldness
Like the early disciples in the book of Acts, ask God for the boldness to speak His Word without fear. Regular prayer will strengthen your heart and help you to stand firm in times of pressure.
Surround Yourself with a Faithful Community
Get involved with other Christians who encourage and challenge you to live for Christ. Whether through a church, Bible study group, or Christian friends, surrounding yourself with people who are passionate about Jesus will help you be more confident in your faith.
Remember Jesus’ Promise
In Matthew 10:32-33, Jesus says, “So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.” Knowing that Jesus promises to honor those who honor Him should motivate us to stand strong and never be ashamed of Him.

Final Thoughts: Don’t Be Afraid to Shine Your Light

Being unashamed of Christ doesn’t mean you have to preach to every person you meet, but it does mean being ready to share the hope you have in Jesus, no matter the cost. The world might reject or misunderstand you, but Jesus promises to acknowledge you before His Father. Isn’t that worth everything?

Take time this week to reflect on where you might be holding back in your faith. Ask God for the courage to boldly live for Him, and don’t forget to seek support from your local church and godly friends. Remember, you’re never walking this journey alone.

Why Authentic Faith Matters: Breaking Free from the ‘Perfect Christian’ Persona

October 18, 2024 / Erica / 0 Comments

Let’s be honest, y’all. We’ve all seen it: those perfectly polished women in Bible study, sipping on their pumpkin spice lattes, matching handbags with their spotless homes, talking about how they “struggle.” Yet somehow, their struggles are wrapped up in a neat little bow, tied with Instagram-worthy snapshots of their “imperfect” lives. If you’re like me, you’ve probably thought: Where’s the mess? The tears? The realness?

But here’s the truth: real Christian struggles don’t always smell like cinnamon or come with a cute quote on a throw pillow. Sometimes, they look more like exhaustion from trying to keep it all together, doubt when the prayers go unanswered, or even anger when life just isn’t fair.

I want to talk about that today—about being real, about embracing the raw and the imperfect parts of our walk with God. Because faith isn’t always pretty, but it’s always real.

The Problem with “Perfection”

There’s this unspoken pressure, especially in some Christian circles, to appear like we’ve got it all together. We want to show we’re “blessed and highly favored,” but in doing so, we hide the struggles that could actually connect us with others. Think about it—how many times have you sat in a women’s group, hearing someone share their “struggles,” only to feel like you couldn’t relate? It’s not that their problems aren’t real; it’s that they feel sanitized, with the messy parts left out.

When we project an image of perfection, we’re not just hiding our pain—we’re making it harder for other women to share theirs. Because if everyone else looks perfect, what does that say about our real struggles?

What Real Faith Looks Like

Look at Queen Esther. She wasn’t living some picture-perfect life when she risked everything to save her people. She was terrified, y’all. She didn’t know if approaching the king would cost her life, but she did it anyway. Her courage didn’t come from living a Pinterest-perfect life—it came from raw faith and trusting God through the fear.

Or think about Jesus. Even He wept and felt overwhelmed in the garden of Gethsemane before facing the cross. If the Son of God didn’t hide His anguish, why should we feel the need to?

Why We Need Realness

Here’s the thing: people don’t connect with perfection. They connect with vulnerability. They connect with stories that say, “I’m struggling too, but God is still good.” When we keep it real about our faith journeys, we give others permission to do the same. We open the door for deeper relationships, for communities that support rather than compare.

That’s why, at Faithful Femme Noir, we’re all about real talk. We know that faith isn’t about having it all together. It’s about holding on to God when everything is falling apart. It’s about showing up in our mess, knowing that God can handle it—and so can our sisters in Christ.

How to Keep It Real in Your Faith

Share the Whole Story: When you talk about your struggles, don’t skip over the hard parts. Share the moments of doubt, fear, or even anger. God is glorified not just in our victories, but in how He walks with us through the valleys.
Find Your People: Seek out women who are open about their own faith journeys. Whether through online communities or local Bible study groups, find those who welcome realness, not perfection.
Be Vulnerable First: Sometimes, it takes someone else’s honesty to open the floodgates. Be that person. Share your authentic story, and watch how others feel free to do the same.
Trust That God is in the Mess: You don’t have to clean up your life before you come to God—or His people. God does some of His best work in the messiest parts of our lives. Trust Him in the process.

Let’s Change the Narrative

At Faithful Femme Noir, we’re committed to creating spaces where you can take off the mask. No perfect personas, just real women walking with a real God through real-life struggles. We believe in the beauty of authenticity, and we want you to feel seen, heard, and valued—right where you are.

Because here’s the truth: God loves the real you, the one who doesn’t always have it together, the one who sometimes doubts, the one who struggles with the day-to-day. And we love you too.

So, sis, let’s stop pretending. Let’s embrace the raw, the real, and the beautiful mess that is faith. And let’s do it together.

Join the Conversation: Have you ever felt like you couldn’t relate to the “perfect” Christian image? How do you keep it real in your walk with God? Share your thoughts in the comments or connect with us on social media. We’d love to hear from you!

How to Build a Godly Legacy: Faith-Filled Steps for Christian Women

October 16, 2024 / Erica / 0 Comments

When we hear the word “legacy,” we often think about material things—wealth, property, or heirlooms passed down through generations. But what if your greatest legacy isn’t something you leave to someone, but something you leave in them? A godly legacy is about the faith, love, and wisdom you impart to those around you—one that echoes in their hearts and shapes their lives long after you’re gone.

Legacy is More Than Things

The Bible teaches us that legacy is not about worldly riches, but about a spiritual inheritance. Proverbs 13:22 (ESV) says, “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.” The most valuable inheritance we can pass down is not money or possessions, but the legacy of faith.

A godly legacy is built through the lives we touch—by our actions, words, and most importantly, our example. It’s about passing down a love for God, a commitment to His Word, and the values that reflect His character. Unlike material things that fade, this spiritual legacy can impact generations.

My Personal Legacy Story

I have been blessed to come from a family of strong, faith-filled women. My grandmother and mother modeled what it means to live a life rooted in Christ. They didn’t have much in terms of wealth, but what they gave me was far more precious—the foundation of faith and the example of how to live that faith daily.

I saw my mother handle life’s challenges with unshakeable trust in God. Through her, I learned resilience, deep love, and standing firm in faith when things got hard. Her greatest gift to me was showing me how to honor God in everything. Now, I strive to pass that same legacy to my children.

Her love was (and still is) as natural as breathing, and her greatest legacy was teaching me to live for Christ and love others like He loves us. Now, I find myself doing the same for my children and the women in my community.

Building Legacy Through Everyday Actions

Legacy isn’t built in a single moment—it’s made day by day through small, intentional acts. You don’t have to have all the answers or be perfect to build a godly legacy. Simply be faithful in the little things and trust that God will use them to create something lasting and beautiful.

Here are a few simple ways you can start building your legacy today:

Lead by Example
Your life is the loudest sermon you’ll ever preach. Whether it’s showing kindness to strangers, being patient with your children, or choosing forgiveness over bitterness, your actions reflect Christ’s love. People are watching—even when you don’t realize it—and how you live can inspire others to seek God.

Pray with Your Family
One of the most powerful legacies you can leave is the habit of prayer. Take time to pray with your children or loved ones, not just in times of trouble, but as a regular part of your routine. These moments of connection with God will make a lasting impact on their hearts.

Teach God’s Word
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (ESV) encourages us: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children.” Make faith a natural part of your conversations. Share what God is teaching you and invite others to join in your journey.

Serve Others
Legacy is also built through serving. When we serve others, we demonstrate Christ’s love. Whether you mentor younger women, volunteer at church, or offer a listening ear to a friend in need, these acts of kindness will plant seeds that grow for generations to come.

Why Legacy Matters for African-American Christian Women

For African-American women, building a legacy is about more than personal success—it’s about creating a path for future generations to grow in their faith. In a world where we’re often underrepresented in Christian media and spaces, it’s vital that we actively create the representation we want to see.

Your legacy is not just for your children; it’s for every woman who looks at you and says, “If she can do it, so can I.” Breaking generational cycles, standing up for Christ in a world that tries to silence us, and creating spiritual abundance where there once was lack—this is the legacy we pass on. Even when you don’t realize it, your journey of faith is inspiring others.

Scriptures to Anchor Your Legacy

As we think about legacy, it’s essential to root ourselves in God’s Word. Here are two scriptures to inspire us as we build a legacy that honors Him:

Proverbs 31:28 (ESV): “Her children rise up and call her blessed.” This verse speaks to the honor that comes when a mother—whether biological or spiritual—leaves a legacy of love and wisdom. The way you live today will echo in the voices of the next generation.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (ESV): “And these words… shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children…” Our legacy is built in the everyday moments. Make it a habit to talk about God’s goodness with those around you, whether at the dinner table or during a walk.

Start Building Your Legacy Today

Your legacy doesn’t start someday in the future—it starts right now. Whether you’re praying with your children, serving others, or leading by example in your community, every action you take is part of the story you’re writing for future generations.

I encourage you to take the first step today. Build a legacy that reflects your faith, love, and trust in God. And remember, what you do today will echo for generations to come.

Join the Conversation
How are you building a legacy of faith in your family or community? Share your thoughts in the comments here , or on the Faithful Femme Noir facebook page, where we can encourage each other in building legacies that truly matter.

Honoring My Best Friend Nicole: A Tribute to Friendship, Faith, and Strength Through Breast Cancer Awareness

October 14, 2024 / Erica / 0 Comments

On October 14, 2008, I lost my oldest and dearest friend, Nicole. It’s been years now, but the memories and the bond we shared remain as vivid and meaningful as ever. Nicole wasn’t just my friend—she was my sister, my confidante, my partner in everything. We met when we were just five years old, and from that moment, our lives were forever intertwined.

We were introduced through church, where my grandfather was the pastor and her parents attended. Even though we went to different schools, it didn’t take long for us to become inseparable. Weekends were spent at her house, and when she moved right up the hill from me, we practically lived together. I still laugh thinking about how she always had a ton of books she didn’t care about reading, while I was the bookworm who couldn’t put them down. She used to get so mad when all I wanted to do was read, while she wanted to pretend we were adults with jobs or families. Nicole’s imagination was endless, and her playfulness always brought out the fun in me, even when I’d rather be lost in a book.

Music was another big part of our friendship. Nicole had the most beautiful alto voice, and I was a soprano back then, so we sang together all the time. Whether it was in church or just for fun, harmonizing with her felt like the most natural thing in the world. Church was a huge part of both of our lives, and faith was truly the foundation of our friendship. We grew up together in the choir, singing praises to God, always rooted in the Bible and the teachings we learned from our families. It’s something that connected us in a way that went beyond the everyday things—it was spiritual, deep, and lasting.

Nicole was sweet, funny, and always herself around me. We had the kind of friendship where no matter how much time passed, we could pick up right where we left off. I didn’t have to explain myself to her; she just got me. That’s a kind of friendship that’s irreplaceable—one where you can truly be yourself, flaws and all, and know you’ll still be loved.

As we grew older, our lives changed, but our bond remained. I was with her through the births of her three beautiful children, and I’m the godmother to her second child. I even did her makeup for her wedding in 2000, which was such a special moment for me—especially since I was very pregnant at the time! I was so happy to see her marry the right man and start her family. Her children were her world, and she loved them fiercely.

When Nicole was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999, my heart broke. She was my oldest friend, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her or her children growing up without their mother. But Nicole, being who she was, fought bravely for nine more years. During those years, she showed so much strength and faith—qualities that were always part of her, but shone even brighter as she battled her illness.

One of the most enduring memories I have of Nicole is how easy it was to be around her. She was the friend who was always herself, and I could be completely myself with her. There was no need for pretense, no fear of judgment—just love and understanding. That’s what I miss the most, and that’s what can never be replaced. Words really can’t capture who she was or what she meant to me. She was my best friend, in every sense of the word.

October has always been a painful month for me. Seeing all the pink for breast cancer awareness brings back the grief of losing Nicole. For years, I let that pain dictate how I moved through this month, but I’m no longer letting it control me. Instead of letting sorrow steal the joy from these weeks, I’ve decided to honor her memory by living fully, as she did, and by loving the people around me with the same open heart that Nicole always showed me.

I miss her every day, but I carry her with me in everything I do. I see her in her children, who I love as my own, and I feel her presence when I think back on all our memories—the laughter, the music, the deep conversations. Nicole was more than a friend—she was a gift from God, and I’m so grateful for the years we had together.

Rooted in Christ: How to Draw Strength from His Love and Live a Fruitful Life

October 9, 2024 / Erica / 0 Comments

In our fast-paced, often overwhelming world, it’s easy to feel drained—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Life’s pressures weigh heavy on our hearts, from work demands to family responsibilities, and it can seem like we are always running on empty. But there is a deep well of strength available to us, a source of life and love that never runs dry. Jesus calls us to be rooted in Him, to draw our strength not from our own abilities but from His endless love.

Jesus says in John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” This vivid imagery of the vine and branches speaks to the deep connection that Christ desires with each of us. Just as branches are completely dependent on the vine for life and nourishment, we are utterly reliant on Christ for spiritual sustenance, strength, and growth.

But what does it truly mean to be rooted in Christ? How do we deepen our connection to Him and draw from His strength daily, especially when life feels overwhelming?

Abiding in Christ: More Than Just Knowing Him

To be rooted in Christ is to live in a constant state of reliance on Him. This goes beyond simply knowing about Jesus or believing in Him—it’s about actively abiding in Him. The word abide means to remain, to dwell, or to continue. It speaks of a steady, ongoing relationship, not one that is sporadic or based on convenience.

Abiding in Christ means that our entire life is intertwined with His. We seek Him first in all things (Matthew 6:33), trusting Him for the strength and wisdom we need to navigate life’s challenges. Just as a branch cannot survive apart from the vine, we cannot flourish spiritually if we are disconnected from Christ.

How to Be Rooted in Christ: Practical Steps

Deepen Your Prayer Life

One of the primary ways to remain rooted in Christ is through prayer. Prayer is not just a way to bring our requests to God; it’s an invitation to commune with Him, to listen to His voice, and to align our hearts with His. Jesus often withdrew to quiet places to pray, and if even the Son of God needed regular communion with the Father, how much more do we?

Instead of seeing prayer as a last resort or something to fit into the cracks of your day, make it a priority. Set aside intentional time each day to be with God, pouring out your heart to Him and listening for His voice. As you cultivate a deeper prayer life, you will find that your connection to Christ grows stronger, and your spirit will be refreshed by His presence.

Practical Tip: Create a prayer routine that works for you. It could be early in the morning before the day begins, during your lunch break, or before bed. Use a journal to write down your prayers and record how God is answering them. This practice helps you stay rooted in gratitude and trust in His faithfulness.

Meditate on God’s Word

Just as physical nourishment is essential for our bodies, spiritual nourishment is critical for our souls. Jesus said in Matthew 4:4, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” God’s Word is our spiritual food. It strengthens, sustains, and guides us.

Being rooted in Christ means that we regularly meditate on His Word, allowing it to shape our thoughts, decisions, and actions. Reading Scripture is not just about gaining knowledge; it’s about letting God’s truth penetrate your heart and transform your life. When we meditate on Scripture, we stay connected to the vine, and our lives begin to bear fruit that reflects Christ’s character.

Practical Tip: Choose a Bible reading plan or a specific book of the Bible to study each day. Take time to reflect on how the passage speaks to your current season of life. Use a journal to jot down insights and prayers related to what you’re reading. Scripture memorization is also a powerful way to stay rooted in God’s Word—commit to memorizing a verse each week that speaks to you.

Trust in His Love and Promises

When we abide in Christ, we are grounded in His love, and this love becomes the foundation for how we live, think, and act. Ephesians 3:17-19 beautifully captures this truth, praying that we may be “rooted and grounded in love, that [we] may have strength to comprehend…what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.”

Christ’s love is immeasurable and unshakeable. When we are rooted in His love, we are secure, no matter what life throws at us. Fear loses its power, anxiety fades, and we experience the peace that comes from knowing we are held by the One who loves us beyond measure.

Trusting in Christ’s love also means trusting in His promises. Life may not always go as planned, but we can rest in the assurance that God is faithful to His Word. His promises are true, and His love never fails.

Practical Tip: Spend time reflecting on God’s promises in Scripture. Verses like Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, and Philippians 4:19 remind us that God is working for our good, that He has a plan for us, and that He will supply all our needs. Write down promises that speak to you and post them somewhere you can see daily, like your mirror or fridge.

Rooted in Christ Through Obedience

Abiding in Christ also involves walking in obedience to His Word. Jesus said in John 15:10, “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in His love.”

Obedience is the fruit of a life that is deeply connected to Christ. When we walk in obedience to His commands, we not only reflect our love for Him but also experience the fullness of His joy. Jesus promises that as we abide in Him and walk in obedience, His joy will be in us, and our joy will be complete (John 15:11).

However, obedience can be challenging, especially when it requires sacrifice or going against the grain of the world’s values. But when we are rooted in Christ, our obedience is not burdensome but a natural outflow of our love for Him. We trust that His commands are for our good and His glory.

Practical Tip: Each week, ask yourself how you can live out God’s Word in your daily life. Whether it’s forgiving someone, showing kindness to a stranger, or resisting temptation, make it a priority to walk in obedience, trusting that God will strengthen you in the process.

Living a Fruitful Life Through Christ

Jesus promises that those who remain rooted in Him will bear much fruit. What kind of fruit? Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. As we stay connected to Christ, these fruits begin to flourish in our lives.

A fruitful life is not about worldly success or accomplishments; it’s about reflecting the character of Christ in everything we do. It’s about loving others, showing grace, being patient in trials, and trusting God’s timing. A fruitful life blesses those around us and points them to the source of all goodness—Jesus Christ.

Practical Tip: At the end of each week, reflect on the fruits of the Spirit in your life. Ask God to reveal areas where you need more growth, and pray for the Holy Spirit to continue cultivating these fruits in your heart.

Being rooted in Christ is a lifelong journey. It’s about daily dependence on Him, drawing strength from His love, and allowing His Word to guide your steps. As you deepen your connection with Christ, you will find that your life becomes a reflection of His grace and truth, bearing fruit that glorifies Him.

Ask yourself: How can I be more intentional about staying connected to Christ this week? Where am I relying on my own strength instead of His?

Challenge for the Week: Spend extra time in prayer and Scripture this week, asking God to deepen your roots in Christ. Reflect on how abiding in Him has transformed your life, and consider ways you can remain more connected to the source of all strength and love.

Standing Firm in Faith: How to Stay Grounded in God’s Unchanging Truth in a Shifting Culture

October 7, 2024 / Erica / 1 Comment

We live in an age of rapid change, where the cultural tides ebb and flow unpredictably. What is celebrated today may be condemned tomorrow, and the lines between truth and opinion often blur. For many, this constant shifting creates confusion and insecurity. But as Christian women, we are called to stand firm, not swayed by the world’s ever-changing values, but grounded in the unchanging truth of God’s Word.

Why Grounding Matters in a Changing Culture

The Bible describes believers as trees planted by streams of water, whose roots go deep (Psalm 1:3). When we are grounded in God’s truth, we aren’t easily shaken by the storms of life. Ephesians 3:17-19 speaks of being “rooted and grounded in love,” so that we can grasp the enormity of God’s truth and stand firm in it. But what does it look like to be grounded in truth? And why is it more important than ever in our present-day culture?

Being grounded in truth means our foundation is unshakable, built on the solid rock of God’s Word (Matthew 7:24-27). Jesus speaks of the wise man who builds his house on the rock, and when the storms come, his house remains standing. By contrast, those who build on sand—on the ever-changing opinions of culture—will see their foundation crumble.

How Culture Tries to Shift Our Foundation

Modern culture pressures us to conform. The world shouts at us to embrace its ever-changing standards, often enticing us to compromise our beliefs in subtle ways. It might come in the form of:

Relativism: The belief that truth is subjective—what’s true for you may not be true for me. But the Bible teaches that God’s Word is objective truth, eternal and unchanging (Isaiah 40:8). In a world that questions the very concept of absolute truth, we must cling to the clarity Scripture provides.
Moral Compromise: The world often presents ideas like self-love or personal freedom as the highest virtues, but sometimes at the expense of biblical morality. What culture applauds today, Scripture may condemn. This conflict can create pressure to blend in rather than stand out.
Redefinition of Identity: In a culture obsessed with self-expression and self-identification, the truth of our identity in Christ can get lost. We’re constantly told to define ourselves by our careers, our relationships, or our desires. But the Bible reminds us that we are defined by who God says we are—His daughters, chosen and loved (1 Peter 2:9). Our identity is secure in Him

As Christian women, we are called to stand apart, not in a spirit of judgment or isolation, but in unwavering commitment to God’s truth. But how do we remain grounded when the pull to conform is so strong?

Steps to Stay Grounded in Truth

Know What You Believe

One of the biggest reasons many Christians struggle in the face of cultural pressure is because they don’t have a deep understanding of what they believe. It’s easy to be swayed when your foundation is shallow. To be grounded in truth, you need to be intimately familiar with Scripture.

Dedicate time each day to studying God’s Word, not just reading a few verses, but digging deep into its meaning. Consider topics like the nature of God, the person of Christ, and the role of the Holy Spirit. This will equip you to stand firm in your faith when the world challenges what you know to be true.

Practical Tip: Set aside 20 minutes each day to study key passages that reinforce your understanding of core Christian doctrines. Start with passages like John 1:1-14 (Christ’s divinity), Ephesians 2:1-10 (grace and salvation), and Romans 8 (life in the Spirit).

Seek God’s Wisdom Daily

James 1:5 gives us a promise: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him.” The wisdom of the world is fleeting and often contradictory, but God’s wisdom is perfect and unchanging.

In times of uncertainty, seek God’s guidance rather than relying on your own understanding or the opinions of those around you. Grounded women seek the wisdom that comes from above, not the temporary trends of society.

Practical Tip: When facing a difficult decision or cultural pressure, pause and ask God for wisdom. Pray for discernment to see the situation through the lens of Scripture, and trust that God will guide you in truth.

Surround Yourself with Godly Community

Standing firm in a shifting culture is not something we are called to do alone. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us that two are better than one…for if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. Being grounded in truth becomes more sustainable when we have godly friends and mentors around us to encourage and support us.

Find a community of believers who share your commitment to biblical truth. Whether through a local church, a Bible study group, or a few close friends, surround yourself with people who will spur you on in faith and hold you accountable when the world tempts you to compromise.

Practical Tip: Identify two or three godly women in your life with whom you can regularly meet for prayer, Bible study, and accountability. Make it a priority to cultivate relationships that strengthen your walk with God.

Live Out the Truth You Know

Finally, being grounded in truth means more than just knowing the right things—it means living them out. James 1:22 reminds us to be doers of the word, and not hearers only. As you study and internalize the truth of Scripture, make it a habit to put that truth into action.

When the culture says to conform, live boldly for Christ. When the world questions your faith, respond with grace and confidence, knowing that you are standing on the solid rock of God’s truth. As you live out your faith, you become a testimony to others of the unshakable foundation found in Christ.

Practical Tip: Each week, choose one biblical truth you’ve studied and make a plan to actively live it out. Whether it’s showing love to a difficult person, speaking truth in a challenging situation, or serving others, let your life reflect the truth you are grounded in.

As you navigate a culture that often pulls you in different directions, remember that God’s truth is your anchor. The world may change, but His Word remains the same. Stand firm, deeply rooted in the eternal truth of Scripture, and let it shape every area of your life.

Ask yourself: Where in my life have I allowed cultural pressures to shift my focus away from God’s truth? How can I realign myself with Scripture this week?

Challenge for the Week: Spend time in prayer, asking God to reveal areas where your foundation has become shaky. Write down what He shows you and take action to realign those areas with His Word.